For me, homesick was the word I avoided to say.
But, then, it happened for the second time in different atmosphere and feeling.
Living alone in a lodge didn’t matter through these two years in my college life. First time I moved to this city didn’t make much differences because I decided to stay for studying. Instead, I was happy because I could see the other part of Java with its diversity. Not only that, I felt that I had moved from my comfort zone and thrive for a better life. In this city I learned what the real multiculturalism is and tolerance. Moreover, there are many new experiences I had and never knew that I would experience the same thing in my hometown. No worries, no acute homesick.
However, the new feeling appears after I lived in a hinterland for 33 days.
Actually, I had never imagined that I could live with many personalities of the people in one roof. Even my Mom said that I shouldn’t share with roommate in my lodge. Personally, I am that kind of person that have high ego, so living with many people is a burden for me.
And the 33 days passed like the wind blows.
At first living together with 11 other heads was really stressful. However, in the 2nd week I could finally adapted to the situation and I reached one thing with the other pals:
Never in my life had felt such thing with many people. Never in my life had had a new family that reached this level. Suddenly, this became one of the best moments in my life. For the first time, I could care or maybe love people with no romance intention like this.
For the first time, I think I found a new home.
After those 33 days ended. I felt something wrong. I felt emptiness through these days I live. Sometimes I found myself crying in bed when I woke up with silence around me.
I am lost.
I miss them. I miss every moments in those 33 days. I miss my new home.
But, no matter how I miss them I can’t go back.
They are not THERE anymore.
The most miserable is this new homesick never has a cure.