These are those days when my self-esteem falls down as usual in my life pattern.
It is always like this.
I lost my passion. I lost my grip to write again. I lost..myself and the dream within it.
It is the time when I really need someone to hear my vent. My uneasiness. My worriness. My anger. My sadness. Even.. a lil bit happiness from watching some Korean drama episodes. Now, it takes only 2 minutes to 2 a.m. And I miss myself.
When I was busy with activities and my college routines I longed for holiday. To rest myself. To take time for writing any piece that I want to write.However, it was not as I expected back then. Things turned out to be messed. I turned to be messed up. Lanjutkan membaca Midnight Venting
realita dan Ibu Kota terkadang menjadi dua wajah hipokrit
kelas kelas dimana-mana di tepi jalan
Pengamen jalanan, tukang sapu jalan, supir ojek online,
korporat perusahaan dan pemerintah hingga budak-budaknya
lukisan Marx yang penuh warna
Di antara mereka ada sebuah kelas di antara
yang berusaha menggapai mimpi-mimpinya
menjadi kelas paling atas dalam tatanan rantai makanan Ibu Kota
Ketika ditengok sosial medianya mereka tidak hanya naik tangga,
tapi bersolek pamer pamor di ranah dunia maya
seolah sukses digambarkan oleh ratusan keping potret semata
There is one thing ruining my mind these days. One thing makes my heart uneasy:
My future dream.
Who am I gonna be?
Is it lost? Where is it?
I keep asking for myself of what will I do in the future after I graduate from my undergraduate school. It is a bit confusing. Nah.
It is absolutely confusing!
Well, I am in my third year now—starting the final year actually—and I could’ve tried to graduate in the next term, but I decided to take 4-year-course. Is it sound stupid? At the first time, I thought so, but I realized that the matter is not about graduating sooner. Then, the question appears again:
Who am I gonna be?
Hmm.. I’m not exactly sure. I can be a teacher, I think. Besides, I am quite capable of it since I’ve attended several teaching training. But there is something missing in me when I’m thinking to be a teacher.
I want to produce something. A piece. A Literary work probably. But creating a piece is not easy as I’ve thought before. Producing a piece of work needs a period of time which is not short. Writing is a process. Writing needs so many revisions even for those famous author who are already experts.
On the one hand, I want to help people: by being a teacher. On the other hand, I want to create my workpiece: by being an author. Is there any possibilities of doing that?