Semua tulisan dari arifadnil

Tentang arifadnil

Agen Neptunus kecil yang candu akan segelas teh susu. Hobinya menulis dan menonton film. Punya misi rahasia dari Neptunus untuk mengubah dunia.

“Aku sudah di depan pintu,” katamu

pagi-pagi sekali aku
meleleh bersama doa di hari Rabu
bertanya mengapa dilahirkan hidup oleh Ibu
lalu kau tiba-tiba sudah ada di depan pintu
mengetuk lewat jari-jarimu

Aku sudah berjanji untuk kembalikan buku
Niatnya ada satu cerita yang ingin ku katakan padamu;
namun setelah kita bertemu, senduku hanya sambil lalu
aku pun tidak tahu mengapa begitu
senyum-senyum menyusul, tak jadi ceritaku

Namun, puisiku seperti baru.

​pagi ini aku lihat pamflet 

seorang ayah hilang

kabarnya beliau alzheimer ringan

ratusan komentar mulai bertebaran

tanya dan jawab bersahutan

tapi aku satu-satunya yang bilang:

Aku juga ingin Ayah hilang dan tak pernah pulang.
A|A

Be Yourself Myth

“Just be yourself!”

We’ve heard that often, right? People sometimes keep telling us to be ourselves and not worry about other’s perception. They say to be the real ourselves to be successful or to be someone who is–let’s say–original. However, is that possible to be ourselves?

Do people allow us to do so? Do we allow ourselves to do so?

In fact, as humans we have norms as our social control. This fact leads that we cannot be anything we like in this world. Yes, because we are within the social system. Well, if you live inside the jungle alone only with the animals, you have to follow their rules.

In our life, we have been led by our surroundings to these that. For example, when we decide to take major in schools and universities, we are supported by our parents or friends. Ah, I knew. Some of you think that your decision is based on your willing, but still, those are influenced by your social life and your habits. What makes you have personal habits? Yup, your environment again.

When I was a teen, I believe in that “Be Yourself” myth. I struggled to be myself because I want to be a unique person unlike anybody else. But yeah, just like my previous post before about a quote in Despicable Me 3, “Sometimes in life, you want a unicorn, but you got a goat instead.” When I was in school, I tried to be someone just like I want. You know, being an A student  and sometimes a teacher’s pet. I don’t really like to hang out either. I spent my time with writing poems and fictions or reading books. I became a nerd who is not likrable by others. Even until now, I’m still that nerd who keeps being hated by her classmates. People called me “Ambis” as I was labelled ambitious by my friends. Then I started to hate myself for being “by myself” just like people told me.

You know, sometimes that “be yourself” thing is just a myth as a defense mechanism for some people who are very very strived to reach their dreams. 

In fact, by being ourselves, we have to risk ourselves to be hated by others, even by our closest people just like family and friends. AND, I feel that there is a time who urge me to be somebody else rather than be myself. You know why? Because it seems safer to be somebody else rather than BE OURSELVES.

This identity issue started to raise again in my fourth college year. I want to end my college life by doing anything I want first. I hate to finish my study early than others, but the reality demands me to finish my study early. 

You know, life is always like number 8. It has ‘curly’ side that seems too hard to go through. It has crossing path where we have to choose to be someone that represent ourselves the most and someone that we barely even knew.

At this point, I felt the universe gambles with us. Whether we are stronger than he was expected, or he was right.  (?)

The question mark still remain in my mind.

Satu, Dua Masa di Hidup Kita

selalu ada masa di mana kita lupa tentang

diri sendiri.

Kita kerap bertanya siapa aku sampai palu berhenti memalu

dan terkadang kita ragu akan keberadaan diri

di tengah dunia. Dan mengapa-mengapa terus

menggedor atas tanya itu 

hingga kita ingin tidur, tanpa bangun, 

dan segalanya pasti baik-baik saja.

 

Selalu ada masa di mana semesta tampak

membenci kita. Segalanya terlihat musuh di antara

masa lampau dan masa depan lalu kita

mulai mengumpat keparat.Padahal,

semesta hanya memberi soal apakah kita setangguh yang Ia kira atau malah

sosok payah yang hanya berisi darah?

Despicable Me 3 dan Pesan Tersembunyi

Kemarin saya menonton film Despicable Me 3. Saya termasuk salah satu orang yang sangat menunggu-menunggu film ini sejak tahun lalu. Sebelum film ini rilis, saya sudah menonton trailernya dan sangat berharap banyak dari film ini. Daan…

film ini dibawah ekspektasi saya. Saya berharap film ini akan lebih seru dan lucu daripada seri-seri sebelumnya. Namun, saya pikir saya telah overrated film Despicable Me 3 ini. Lanjutkan membaca Despicable Me 3 dan Pesan Tersembunyi