These are those days when my self-esteem falls down as usual in my life pattern.
It is always like this.
I lost my passion. I lost my grip to write again. I lost..myself and the dream within it.
It is the time when I really need someone to hear my vent. My uneasiness. My worriness. My anger. My sadness. Even.. a lil bit happiness from watching some Korean drama episodes. Now, it takes only 2 minutes to 2 a.m. And I miss myself.
When I was busy with activities and my college routines I longed for holiday. To rest myself. To take time for writing any piece that I want to write.However, it was not as I expected back then. Things turned out to be messed. I turned to be messed up. Lanjutkan membaca Midnight Venting
realita dan Ibu Kota terkadang menjadi dua wajah hipokrit
kelas kelas dimana-mana di tepi jalan
Pengamen jalanan, tukang sapu jalan, supir ojek online,
korporat perusahaan dan pemerintah hingga budak-budaknya
lukisan Marx yang penuh warna
Di antara mereka ada sebuah kelas di antara
yang berusaha menggapai mimpi-mimpinya
menjadi kelas paling atas dalam tatanan rantai makanan Ibu Kota
Ketika ditengok sosial medianya mereka tidak hanya naik tangga,
tapi bersolek pamer pamor di ranah dunia maya
seolah sukses digambarkan oleh ratusan keping potret semata
There is one thing ruining my mind these days. One thing makes my heart uneasy:
My future dream.
Who am I gonna be?
Is it lost? Where is it?
I keep asking for myself of what will I do in the future after I graduate from my undergraduate school. It is a bit confusing. Nah.
It is absolutely confusing!
Well, I am in my third year now—starting the final year actually—and I could’ve tried to graduate in the next term, but I decided to take 4-year-course. Is it sound stupid? At the first time, I thought so, but I realized that the matter is not about graduating sooner. Then, the question appears again:
Who am I gonna be?
Hmm.. I’m not exactly sure. I can be a teacher, I think. Besides, I am quite capable of it since I’ve attended several teaching training. But there is something missing in me when I’m thinking to be a teacher.
I want to produce something. A piece. A Literary work probably. But creating a piece is not easy as I’ve thought before. Producing a piece of work needs a period of time which is not short. Writing is a process. Writing needs so many revisions even for those famous author who are already experts.
On the one hand, I want to help people: by being a teacher. On the other hand, I want to create my workpiece: by being an author. Is there any possibilities of doing that?
Lingua franca is a language that is agreed to use by multilingual societies in order to communicate with each other. According to Wardhaugh, most of people uses Greek or Latin as the lingua franca all over the world in the past, especially in Europe (2010). However, in the present day English appears to be a lingua franca due to its speakers which are 80% of the world’s population (both native and non-native speakers). In the contemporary era, English does not only belong its native speakers, but it has belonged to global population. In my perspective, English as a lingua franca has played important role in the process of globalization and educational development.
English as one of globalization agent is seen in how English works as a medium connecting people around the world to conduct trading, travelling, and international relations. It is used to break social and linguistics inequalities. For example, the European Union (EU) uses English as one of official languages in its the general assembly. Not only in Europe, English also widespread in the Maple country Canada though its first language is French. Mr. Diding once said that most of young people in Canada use English in daily conversation more often than French. Another example can be found in U.S and Native American (Indian) government congress in using English as official language between them. Although in postcolonial angle it can be seen that English as a heritage from colonialism between the U.S and the Native American society, the use of English in their bilateral relationship can be perceived as a form of social and linguistics equality. In addition, English now appears as a cyber lingua franca on the Internet. Since Internet break the boundary of region around the world, English has been the major language used by netizens to communicate and trade. Many forums on the internet use English as the lingua franca for the users come from different countries which speak different languages. As the online shopping spread around the world through E-Bay, Alibaba, or Amazon, netizens also start to conduct business with people from different countries.
In the scope of education, English has been the language of education in most of countries. In educational scope, standard English is even highly respected and evokes certain kind of intelligent for its speakers. As a lingua franca, English plays a significant role in multilingual education. Student exchange program, for instance, required English proficiency test certificate to allow the participants join the program even though the involved countries do not speak English as the official language. Interestingly, in more recent cases, English in the education is not only respected as a global language, but also glocal language. Wardhaugh said that glocal means global and local. Therefore, English aslo blends with native society, for example like Singaporean English which has been used in most education institution in Singapore for the last decade.
In brief, English has been a global lingua franca as a tool for real or cyber
communication and developing global education.
Hello, guys. I don’t know if you reading this or not, but I just want to say something that I just realized these days that I just have to:
I’M DEEPLY SORRY.
Yes, I finally said that. Maybe some of you don’t understand or the reason why I do this, but I’m saying to all of you whose hearts have been irritated or hurt due to all my “bitchiness” after three years we have been together. Yes, you, 2014 Eng Dept students.
I know I’ve never been a good classmate to all of you. I was too serious, rigid, and nerd most of the time. Sometimes, I did face threatening act to you (unconsciously and consciously). I asked too much question in the class. Or maybe some of you think that I’m too active in the class in order to get an A every time. Lanjutkan membaca An Apology to All Classmates
Sebenarnya aku rindu,
tadi bisa saja ku peluk kamu
Malah ku pura-pura tak melihatmu.
“Anak Ambis!” pekik orang-orang bertaburan di kepalaku.
Ada satu kata dalam kamusku yang mengalami degradasi makna: Ambisius.
Ambisius pada dasarnya bermakna netral. Tidak ada konotasi apa pun pada kata itu awalnya. Namun, setelah menginjak bangku kuliah kata itu terkesan satirik. Bahkan begitu mengintimidasi di daun telinga. Memekakkan telinga ketika terlalu lama di dengar. Pada akhirnya buatku sedikit muak. Baik pada orang-orang yang menuduhku, dan parahnya diriku sendiri.
Jadi, di sinilah aku. Di ambang krisis identitas yang merasuk di tiap aliran darah sampai sinapsis di otak. Mencari-caro jati diri karena tidak terima oleh label yang begitu mengintimidasi hingga aku akhirnya hilang kepercayaan diri. Mungkin depresi hingga rasanya hanya ingin makan mie setiap hari.
Apa hubungannya? Aku tidak tahu. Karena segalanya tidak jelas dan mengabur seperti pandangan mataku dengan 1.5 dan 1.75 dioptri miopi.
Apa itu anak ambis? Lanjutkan membaca Anak Ambis, Katanya?
seonggok daging berumur seperlima abad
dalam balutan epidermi yang bertanya
tentang eksistensi diri sang keparat—menyusup di
antara nadi yang bersilangan hingga
apa itu aku?
ku tusuk-tusuktanya itu hingga
darah mengucur turun mengusik sinapsis saraf di sela
hasta dan karpal
molekul-molekul itu, mungkin hemoglobin
atau buku sketsa, sepeda, abakus canggih, dan warna hitam
Ah, itu aku.
Aku tidak suka perkataan temanku malam itu,
“Kau ingin cepat terkenal.”
padahal, aku hanya ingin menulis
bukan ingin menjadi Anwar, Sapardi, atau Mansyur
padahal, kupercayakan dia baca larik-larikku.
Tapi atas kejujurannya, aku beri dia standing ovation.
Apa itu raga, kalau hanya diam saja
Malas gerak jadi alasan.
Apa itu akal, kalau dipendam tak dibagikan
Sibuk jadi alasan.
Apa kata pemuda-pemuda yang berdarah yang kembali ke tanah
pada masa invasi para bedebah yang serakah
Jika mereka tanya apa jasamu untuk bangsa, hendak kau sahut apa?
Kerjamu hanya leha-leha!
Aku memang sedang marah!!