And the pain is still the pain. So, the scars, too.

Tonight, I dreamed. I dreamed you had taken by that girl–the girl who takes my bestfriend from me. It was a bestfriend. Was.

Suddenly, the pain summoned.

As long as I’m Happy

As long as I’m happy, it’s okay.

No matter how many tasks I have to do, no matter how a course is difficult. As long as I’m happy, I can do all of this.. which people called, mess. I don’t think that college life is really a mess. I think, it’s something fun that we can do just for once in ourlife.

Well, it’s not easy, by the way. A lot of tasks, a lot of activity such as organization or some events in our faculty, a lot of friends that annoy us, and many more. If we are happy, we will face all of that mess.

Tired.

Ofcourse, everybody is tired. And time management is really needed in this kind of situation–being a new student college.  We only have 24 hours each day, so it’s quite.. not hard but, it’s needed a good skill to manage our time.

And… this is my third week in my college life. My worst experience is not allowed to enter the class. Dasar-dasar lingusitik class. It’s because.. I’m a little bit late and the chair in the class already full. I’m never ever ever feel like that before. Honestly, that’s shocked me a bit. Fortunately, my friends make me calm and treat me so well. :”)

Oh, I almost forgot. I’m also participate in Petang Kreatif event. Petang Kreatif is theatre competition between all of major in Faculty of Humanity. I’m registered myself as actor, but it’s gonna be an audition for that. I hope I’m pass it. Aamiin..

Next week there will be  some quiz, by the way. Wish me luck guys!

Second Week My Lecture Day

This is second week in my campus life. It’s quite fun, but also a mess sometimes. The first event in my first week is Hello Goodbye. It’s kind of event where all IKMI’s member (Ikatan Kekeluargaan Mahasiswa Prodi Inggris) welcome us as new student and say goodbye to 2010’s generation which has graduated this year. In this event we have to give a performance. So, before the day we all practice together. The performance that we perform is drama musical which describe our senior’s journey from begin as new student till they graduate.

And the second week I join the Olimpiade Budaya 2014’s committee. I accepted in Secretariate Division. I hope I can manage my time for that. Aaamiiin.

Oh, I almost forgot. I have 6 subjects in this semester. It’s not much, isn’t it? But it’s not make I’m lazy or you know just play around in campus. I’ve got some lecturer, which is good anyway. But, I don’t know what happens next, if they are true ‘good lecturer’ or just ‘good’ at the beginning. I’ve got some assignment too, but it’s not a matter. I doing that well. But, my weakness in ‘listening’. You know, in Listening class I’m very unconfidence because my skill is lower than the others. Huh, maybe I shoul have exercise or something like that.

But, so far, I’m happy doing all of this.

Sometimes, I still missing you, instead.

This is second day for my lecture day. It’s challenging me for learn more more and more again. Because.. I’m not expert at this subject. Many people in my class better than me. Especially in speaking well. My english is sooo limited. My knowledge is not wide, instead. So.. I have to study and learn haarrrd!! Harder, maybe.

But, so far, I am happy. Although I always wondering how my Mom condition in Bandung. And.. some of my concerns about my Mom life. It’s soo make me sad actually. But, I’m always trying not spilt of milk like that. So, I have to be HAPPY like always pharrel williams sing. Hahaha.

And, it’s my pleasure for meeting somebody that motivated me in here. New day, new friends. New knowledge. New experience. Except in my kost I’m kinda bit lonely wkwk. No TV no radio. But it’s okay. I love my room~

And.. I hope I can continue my script nove;l and gotta new short story agaiin. I hope soo.. I’m so limit in reading and poor motivation for do writing. Hhaahh.. being a college student is fun and desperate at the same time (sometimes) Hahahaha.

 

 

Just suddenly….

I don’t know.  Suddenly..  unconfidence strike me behind. It’s.. ffuhh, the most abstrac moment that I couldn’t explain. I’m feeling so small. Afraid.. I’m afraid. No courage. No motivation. Everything strike me at the same time.. in the late time. I’m not smart like them. I’m not cool like them. I’m not… attractive like them.

Once again. I’m afraid. I’m afraid what if  I can’t fullfill my targets? What if I haven’t a lot of friends?What if I have no money in my pockets? What if.. I let my parents down?

And the damn unconfidence came again. I feel so alone. In here. Sit, in front of window, wondering. What will I am like in the next three months?