Arsip Kategori: kontemplasi

Midnight Venting

These are those days when my self-esteem falls down as usual in my life pattern.

It is always like this.

I lost my passion. I lost my grip to write again. I lost..myself and the dream within it.

It is the time when I really need someone to hear my vent. My uneasiness. My worriness. My anger. My sadness. Even.. a lil bit happiness from watching some Korean drama episodes. Now, it takes only 2 minutes to 2 a.m. And I miss myself.

When I was busy with activities and my college routines I longed for holiday. To rest myself. To take time for writing any piece that I want to write.However, it was not as I expected back then. Things turned out to be messed. I turned to be messed up.  Lanjutkan membaca Midnight Venting

Kepada seseorang yang entah dimana sedang duduknya, berdirinya, atau tidurnya

Teruntuk Calon Imam-ku,

Kepada seseorang yang entah dimana sedang duduknya, berdirinya, atau tidurnya. Aku tahu, atau mungkin aku sok tahu, tapi kita pasti bertemu ketika dimensi waktu sudah setuju mempertemukan kita.

Malam ini aku baru selesai menonton film Sabtu Bersama Bapak. Aku belum baca novelnya sehingga aku tidak tahu apa filmnya memang menyampaikan isi noverlnya tapi yang jelas ada beberapa pelajaran yang dapat aku ambil, yaitu sesuatu mengenai..

Pernikahan. Lanjutkan membaca Kepada seseorang yang entah dimana sedang duduknya, berdirinya, atau tidurnya

Untuk Adikku

Dek,

malam ini apakah kamu sudah mengerjakan PR?

apakah kamu ada ujian besok?

apakah kamu bahagia dengan dunia sekolah barumu?

Aku bisa berkata pada “adik-adik”ku lain untuk rajin belajar, tapi mengucapkannya padamu rasanya tak pernah.

Dek,

apa kau mulai suka dengan anak perempuan?

Siapa?

apa kau mulai nakal untuk mengetahui sesuatu yang seharusnya kamu simpan untuk nanti? Lanjutkan membaca Untuk Adikku

Hiper—

Ada saat dimana aku merasa gagap. Merasa bodoh. Merasa payah.

Semua orang pasti pernah.

Mungkin aku selalu merasa bisa. Narsistik kah?

Ah, entahlah.

Ketika aku merasa payah, segeralah aku maki diri. Padahal tidak perlu—

Rasanya pandanganku atas kesempurnaan dan segala sesuatu yang ideal sudah melampaui garis, lalu..

akhirnya ku mati kutu

Hiper-sensorik,

Hyper-speculation,

Ah, tuhkan!

Aku harus banyak belajar—

New Homesick

For me, homesick was the word I avoided to say.

But, then, it happened for the second time in different atmosphere and feeling.

Living alone in a lodge didn’t matter through these two years in my college life. First time I moved to this city didn’t make much differences because I decided to stay for studying. Instead, I was happy because I could see the other part of Java with its diversity. Not only that, I felt that I had moved from my comfort zone and thrive for a better life. In this city I learned what the real multiculturalism is and tolerance. Moreover, there are many new experiences I had and never knew that I would experience the same thing in my hometown. No worries, no acute homesick.

However, the new feeling appears after I lived in a hinterland for 33 days.

Actually, I had never imagined that I could live with many personalities of the people in one roof. Even my Mom said that I shouldn’t share with roommate in my lodge. Personally, I am that kind of person that have high ego, so living with many people is a burden for me.

And the 33 days passed like the wind blows.

At first living together with 11 other heads was really stressful. However, in the 2nd week I could finally adapted to the situation and I reached one thing with the other pals:

COMFORT.

Never in my life had felt such thing with many people. Never in my life had had a new family that reached this level. Suddenly, this became one of the best moments in my life. For the first time, I could care or maybe love people with no romance intention like this.

For the first time, I think I found a new home.

After those 33 days ended. I felt something wrong. I felt emptiness through these days I live. Sometimes I found myself crying in bed when I woke up with silence around me.

I am lost.

I miss them. I miss every moments in those 33 days. I miss my new home.

But, no matter how I miss them I can’t go back.

They are not THERE anymore.

The most miserable is this new homesick never has a cure.

Mengapa Ilmu Pengetahuan Dikatakan Berasal dari Barat?

Mengingat tentang Ilmu Pengetahuan, aku kembali mengingat pelajaran-pelajaran yang telah kuterima sejak sekolah dasar sampai sekolah menengah. Entah kenapa, rasanya aku merasa tidak mempelajari apa-apa selama 12 tahun berada di sekolah formal. Terasa hampa otak ini mengingat-ingat pelajaran sekolah dasar dulu. Tapi aku masih ingat pelajaran-pelajaran sekolah menengah, terutama Pendidikan Kewarganegaraan dan Ilmu Pengetahuan Alam. Aku juga nasih hapal beberapa tokoh seperti Montesquieu, Thomas Aquinas, Charles Darwin, dan Sigmund Freud. Tak kusangka tokoh-tokoh itu masih aku temui di bangku kuliah walaupun dengan catatan bahwa aku ini “anak sastra” Kok bisa?

Belajar filsafat .

Sejak aku ambil mata kuliah pengantar filsafat dan pemikiran modern, pandanganku tentang dunia berkembang dan wawasanku tentang ilmu pengetahuan itu sendiri pun meluas. Awalnya aku sempat parno, karena teman-temanku yang berada di jurusan filsafat mereka lama-lama menjadi agnostik (orang yang percaya bahwa keberadaan tuhan tidak bisa dijelaskan dengan akal, tapi mereka sangat berbeda dengan seorang atheis). Setelah menjalani perjalanan 1 semester, aku keasyikan belajar filsafat. Baca sejarahnya sampai tokoh-tokoh dan ideologi-ideologi yang dianut tokoh-tokoh itu. Sampai-sampai aku melupakan definisi dan hal-hal dasar sehingga nilai uts ku tidak memuaskan karena soal-soal yang keluar adalah soal-soal mendasar yang sayangnya aku lupakan.

Belajar filsafat juga membuatku mengenal sejarah dunia yang ku pelajari di mata kuliah sastra Inggris. Lagi, belajar filsafat sama sekali jauh dari ekspektasi burukku.

Semakin aku penasaran, akhirnya aku tahu mengapa hanya tokoh-tokoh Barat saja yang menghias buku pelajaran SD, SMP, SMA kita. Kita anggap sajalah bahwa ilmu pengetahuan mengenai filsafat, sains, pemerintahan, berasal dari Yunani. Lebih tepatnya lagi berkat Plato dan Aristoteles (mungkin Socrates tapi sayangnya Ia tidak menulis sejarahnya sendiri). Dua bapak filsuf itu menyumbang banyak sekali ilmu pengetahuan dengan tulisan-tulisannya. Di zaman Renaissance dan seterusnya (kebangkitan dan rindu kebudayaan Yunani) ide-ide dua bapak itu dipelajari kembali.

Setelah itu, lahirlah Thomas Aquinas yang “mengkristenkan” Aristoteles dan Plato. Mengapa? Karena ia ingin diterima oleh Gereja. Karena pada masa Dark Age atau kejayaannya gereja do zaman pertengahan segala ilmu pengetahun sangat diatir gereja. Descartes seorang filsuf kaya dengan slogan terkenalnya cogito ergo sum membaca kembali karya-karya Plato dan Aristoteles sehingga timbulah metode keraguannya yang terkenal. Dari situlah ilmuan-ilmuan Barat terkenal. Apalagi penemuan mesin cetak sangat membantu penyebaran sains meluas ke seluruh Eropa. Padahal jauh sebelum Thomas Aquinas, ilmuwan-ilmuwan Arab seperti Al-Farabi, Al-Khawarizmi, Ibnu Sina, telah menerjemahkan karya-karya Yunani ke bahasa Arab dan mempelajarinya. Anehnya, Thomas Aquinas sendiri tidak pernah bisa membaca bahasa Yunani. Aquinas memang perlu di interogasi atas hal ini.

Mungkin tulisan ini memang bias, tapi saya ingin mengatakan bahwa ilmuwan-ilmuwan Islam lah yang lebih dahulu melestarikan karya-karya Yunani dan mengimplementasikan ilmu-ilmu yang secara rahasia “dicuri” oleh ilmuwan Barat.
Taukah kamu bahwa Al-Khawarizmi yang menciptakan aljabar? Taukah kamu kalau Al-Farabi menciptakan not balok untuk pertama kali?

Jawaban anda adalah buktinya.

Let’s be Humanized!

Everything seems different in the third term in college. In this term, I learnt a lot about life lessons during the lectures. Because I was majoring science when I was in high school, I had never learnt about human studies, such as sociology or anthropology. However, now, I study culture, literature, and philosophy. Of course, it is because I’m a student of faculty of humanities. Somehow, by attending so many lectures that I took for this term, I began to think reflectively about us as human. Then one question appear: Are we machines or humans?

I’ve been wondering about this issue during this term. Maybe this is not what people think or most of students think these days, but suddenly the question appear in the middle of Research Methods class. The lecturer, Mr.Junaedi, said that we are modern people. We want everything fast, we want everything instant, we want do things with less effort, and we want to make everything to be practical and efficient. In addition, we also spend more time in the outdoor rather than in our houses. Now, we are busy with ourselves and pay less attention to our families. What do you think? Are those represents you?

For me, I am. Home is not like home anymore. Nowadays, home is just a dwelling not a house. Look at the apartments that are built around us. Houses are replaced by simple compartments whose price are high. Less windows, no terrace, no backyard, functional design, and all the elements of a house seem decreased.

Inevitable, in this millennium era invented technology becomes part of our life. Indirectly, internet and smartphones are our ‘God’ in everyday life. Most of modern people use smartphone to communicate and make our job done faster. In addition, there are many applications, such as social media and games are invented. However, those applications —unconsciously— are distracting us. For example, some people tend to care their cyber life rather than their real life. The more we get in touch in Internet make us isolated. As a result, we are likely to be machines without feeling. Like robots, even zombies.

By writing this journal, I don’t mean to preach or teach. I know that we as humans both have flaws and beauty in the same time.  Overall, I just want to say: Let’s be humanized!

“If All the Skies” by Henry van Dyke Poetry Analysis

*This is one of ‘rare’ poem’, so I made the analysis of this poem (beside it’s my assignment to do LOL) This is simple Poetry Analysis though. I hope it’s easy to be undestood :)*

If all the skies were sunshine,
Our faces would be fain
To feel once more upon them
The cooling splash of rain.

If all the world were music,
Our hearts would often long
For one sweet strain of silence,
To break the endless song.

If life were always merry,
Our souls would seek relief,
And rest from weary laughter
In the quiet arms of grief.

—-  Henry van Dyke

This poem is rich with metaphors that create the whole meaning of it. In every stanza, the poet contrasts two things to create a sense of balance in human’s life. In the first stanza, the speaker tells that human both need sunshine and rain, because too many sunshine or rain will not good for human nature. To illustrate, the sunshine is needed by humans for drying clothes, planting, and farming. Rain is also needed by humans for watering irrigation, watering the plants and grass, and creating good water cycle. However, if just one of them existed in this world, humans would not have a proper life. Humans need both rain and sunshine to make their living.

In the second stanza, the speaker contrasts music and silence in human’s life. Music can represent business, crowd, and hectic activity in life. We can see this in nowadays activity, especially in a big city which is busy and crowd both day and night. However, the speaker tells us that human also needs silence. Silence in here may represent a peaceful atmosphere and quiet place.  We can comprehend that too many loudness or activities will make us tired and stressful, and sometimes we just need our silent time to contemplate or life and get peace. Therefore, again, humans need both the two opposite things; music and silence. Lanjutkan membaca “If All the Skies” by Henry van Dyke Poetry Analysis