We’ve seen some quotes say “Home is a person,” or “You are my home and sanctuary.”
Is it though?
17-year-old me would agree so much to those remarks. Life with bunch of friends, teammates, and crushes. However, as I grew older, I finally learned that we cannot treat people as our home. Maybe some of you would assume, “Yeah, because they will leave anyway.”
That’s true somehow. However, not merely because they’re temporary. The fact that they are people–humans, that is the main reason.
Humans are dynamic. Well, most of us. We keep evolving, developing new habits, point of view and principles. Once we can’t keep up with those people we called ‘home’, distance develops, we could be disappointed, or the other way around.
I still remember one of Taylor Swift lyrics saying “You’re not my homeland anymore.” and thought it was poetic and tactful. With all due respect to her, I believe that a person or a group of people shouldn’t be our home.
If we attach our happiness based on somebody else, it eventually die out and we depend ourselves to our surrounding instead. We expect them to be some certain figures in our lives and when they don’t, we could become disappointed, sad, and even desperate. Similarly, when other people expect us to have certain characteristics and do not accept who we are, we become guilty or even worthless.
Today I read Desi Anwar’s book “The Art of Solitude” and in one of her essays, she said that it’s crucial for us to manage our attachment to things or people we love. And somehow, that’s valid.
In my point of view, there are two types of home in our lives. When we talk spiritually, God is always be our home. If you don’t believe Him, home can be someone in that mirror you see everyday. Someone who has been surviving until the very second you read this sentence. Home is yourself: flesh and soul. When the slogan “Love yourself” sounds really cliche and too positive, I’d say “Accept Yourself.” Accepting yourself that you have both strengths and flaws is precious and a key to go through this adulthood process. Each time you found out something new about yourself, embrace them instead of denying them. When you fall into slump, you may want to curse yourself, but remember that those bitter experience has built the new version of you who’re getting stronger and tougher.
And that what makes you stand up and survive, every single day.
Catatan Anak Sastra 