Covid-19 sucks.
Life at the moment sucks.
Some may argue that I need to be grateful for my current state, but again people only see the tip of the ice berg.
Pandemic may hit people in many ways, financially, physically, or mentally. I think everyone is suffering right now, and I know I’m not the only one. But, maintaining healthy mental state these days is fu*kin hard.
I never knew that pandemic could emerge panic attacks that I’ve been struggling for these past months. I’m lucky enough to get a chance to consult with an expert, and finally can find the some of the roots of the trigger. Things aren’t pretty, but I managed to cope with it.
Having panic attacks is one of those Forrest Gump moment that “Life is like a box of chocolate.” Even at the very moment I’m writing these sentences it begs me to tremble, but dude, I’m quite strong not to fall to its traps deeper.
Meditation helps sometimes, and self-control is the key after all. I’m quite proud of myself to be able to look like normal person and performs at work well. (Pat my back)
Honestly, for those of you super-extroverts out there, I’m so proud that you can handle this quarantine life. We miss those hang-outs. We miss dining-out. Meeting our loved ones. I started to feel burdened to call my close friends since I’m afraid that I waste their time. It sucks having the need of social interaction in this lonely and dark times.
Staying sane is not easy, but it’s possible. I can say that.
What do we need to do basically to know our limit and ask for help. I was quite cocky that asking for help for me was a sign of weakness, but nah. It’s an act of courage and self-realization. We’re born to help each other after all.
From what I learned from some counsellings I have, we are our own foundation in helping ourselves. And it’s extremely hard to be stable both mentally and physically these days. I’d suggest that you guys stop taking sleeping pills, if it’s not that bad. I was about to get addicted since it’s an instant solution, but please be mindful unless you had been prescribed by doctors.
I could say that my panic attack is still mild, but I need to get rid of this immediately. Meditation before sleep or listening to some relaxing music as lullaby work for me. I was going to give some suggestions, but everyone has their own way to cope with themselves.
What’s yours?
Catatan Anak Sastra 